“Create in me a clean heart, O God; and renew a right spirit within me.” Psalm 51:10
It is a rotten feeling when you fail, especially when you saw it coming, but chose to ignore it. The most natural response to personal failure is to either run away in shame or to minimize the truth of it. You may even speak brutally to your inner self and make dire predictions about your future. Add to this the voice of the enemy chiding you, and the misery can be unbearable.
Know that none of the above is the way God responds to your failure. Though you may feel unworthy of it, His love and grace are tender towards you. You may be disappointed in yourself, but God knew He would find you here and has been waiting for you with arms wide enough to hold you and your burden of guilt. Full confession is the best response–no excuses. Then, ask Him to restore you. He will show where you veered off course and empower you to win next time you pass that same spot.
Likely, you abandoned the very practices that kept you on the right path; go back to them. Only you know what those are, and if you have been gone long enough to have forgotten what they are, remembrance is only a prayer away.
Failure is not your identity, it’s only an event. Take God’s extended hand, ask His forgiveness, and get on with your life.